who's ready to rock?

toronto rock, that is! i missed out on the drunken lacrosse outing last year, and i've been hearing some rumblings in support of organizing the 2nd annual GTGtPAWA rock your socks off*. who's up for it? our options are:

feb 10/06 - versus rochester
feb 24/06 - versus philidelphia
mar 03/06 - versus minnesota (toronto versus a whole state?!)
mar 25/06 - versus calgary

tickets are $22 - $57, although i'm guessing we'll be going for the cheap seats. phone lines are open, folks. what do you think?

* note: i'm at work, give me a break. if you can come up with soemthing better, have at it!

My Daughter the Class Clown / Geek

I know this isn't really outing related, but since the last posting has been there since August, I figured you'd read just about anything by now. So here it is.

Let me preface this by saying that I know Alan and I are bad parents. Last night we were watching Corner Gas and Oscar (who is Paige's favourite tv character) was talking. For a couple of weeks she has already been mimicking him when he says, "Stop it" and it's really funny. It's a really deep, raspy grunt not befitting of a dainty 19 month old at all. Well last night in between bites of chicken primavera, she picked up another of his favourite words. Jackass. But it was more like "Jack...ass". At first Alan and I thought she said jacket, but then we realized what she was saying (and this is where we fail all the Dr. Phil tests) and we started killing ourselves laughing. And the more we laughed, the more she said it.

Jack...ass.
Jack...ass.
Jack...ass.
Jack...ass.
Jack...ass.
Jack...ass.
Jack...ass.

Until she too was laughing so hard that she had to pause to push the broccoli back in her mouth.

Jack...ass.
Jack...ass.
Jack...ass.
Jack...ass.
Jack...ass.

I had visions of me being called down to the Principal's office in a couple of years.

But as quick as it started, she let it go again and she never said it again all night. And then my proudest moment as a mother ever came. Paige threw a temper tantrum and wouldn't go to bed without her calculator. There's hope for her yet. I'm not sure about Alan and I.

I think this reminds me of someone here, but I'm not sure who...

Maybe I'm wrong....

Pool Party - The Sequel, Starring Corn on the Cob

Since the last event was so successful, we're going to do it again.

Same place, same rules, more beer.

Saturday, August 27, 2005.
3:00 p.m. - whenever

Road trip to A dot

I don't recall any GTGtPAWA sanctioned events at private dwellings, and I can pretty much guarantee that none of them have occurred north of Hwy 7, but I'm going out on a limb here and thinking that most of you would abandon even your most sacred rules to get into a swimming pool this weekend. For those of you who still find Aurora a little 905 for your liking, I'm sure that the YMCA is adding extra chemicals to the pool these days to account for all the kids who aren't toilet trained yet and who's parents won't shell out the $1.10 for Little Swimmer Diapers.

The offer is simple: BYOB, BYOM. That would be meat, for anyone who is above/opposed to eating hamburgers and hot dogs.

House rules:

Clothing is mandatory (at least until the children and Alan's parents go home). Speedos of any kind will subject you to mockery of the highest caliber. Wear at your own risk.

Don't give beer to the baby. Sure it's funny to watch her stumble around the yard telling off-coloured jokes, but then she brings home strange men and ends up with poorly done tattoos. If you must find a way to amuse yourself, feel free to throw laxatives over the fence at the neighbour's dog.

Please refrain from playing with the power tools. Saws (mitre, reciprocal, circular and jig), routers, drills and compressors are all fun to look at, but pose a high risk of personal injury when one is intoxicated, scantily clad, and attempting to balance a paper plate with 5 bean salad in the other hand. For those who insist on losing an arm or a leg this weekend, we will set up a Texas Hold'em table.

Festivities start at 3:00 p.m. on Saturday and run until the police are called to break up the fun. If you would like directions, please email angel.glitter@gmail.com

We suck

It's been ridiculously patio-like for the past couple weeks and no beer. We need to remedy that before it starts snowing again.

I'm going to be at either Fion MacCool's or Scotland Yard on the Esplanade most of the afternoon, but I'm willing to relocate to a more subway friendly location by the time all you poor suckers who have to work on Friday afternoons are done.

Suggestions, comments?

i smell a road trip!

you just can't beat this line up at the ottawa bluesfest:

Saturday, July 9, 2005
12:45 pm Gentleman Reg
2:00 pm Jason Collett
3:30 pm Apostle of Hustle
5:00 pm Stars
7:45 pm Metric
9:30 pm Broken Social Scene

i know i'm definitely going... music, drinks, beaver tails... what's not to like?!

Concerts

Its been a while since anyone has posted anything new so I thought I'd fix that (I'm not even sure if anyone still checks the blog but we'll see!). A friend of mine is in a band (The Golden Dogs) who'll be playing at Lee's Palace on June 11th with the Rheostatics and 54-40, and at The Rivoli on July 8th with the Spades. I thought I'd go to one of the concerts and wanted to know if anyone else wanted to come along. Let me know if you do and which date you'd prefer (the one at Lee's Palace is $20). Oh, and Karen, Danny Michel is at the Rivoli on June 16/17th.

New poll

I've posted a new poll on the Wheat Sheaf, so we can decided whether or not to ever go back. Personally, the number of grammatical errors in their menus is enough to make me stay away. Perhaps, the Artful Dodger could be next....

now on gtgtpawa... reviews.

on friday night, jeremy & i identified the need to keep track of good and bad venues for GTGtPAWA events. so i've added a section to the sidebar called (stunningly) "reviews". also in the sidebar, you will see a poll in which you can provide your opinion on the venue. in a few days (or whenever i get around to it), i'll tally up the results and write you a nice little review, and link it to the sidebar for easy peasy access.

how do you like them apples?

Just so there's no confusion

This is where I will be at 5ish. (I love google maps)

It's patio season, people!

To commemorate the ever-so welcome return of spring, the ever-so welcome approach of moped season and the ever-so unwelcome changing of the clocks (YOU AREN'T SAVING ANY FUCKING DAYLIGHT, ASSHOLES, SO STOP FUCKING MAKING ME RESET EVERY FUCKING CLOCK IN MY FUCKING HOUSE JUST SO YOU CAN PLAY YOUR FUCKING GOLF UNTIL 10 O'FUCKINGCLOCK (end rant)), I propose we have a beer. Or three. Or five. Whatever it takes, really.

Let us drink to the warmth of the sun. Let us drink to the 5 months worth of garbage that is no longer hidden under the snow. Let us drink to the mud on my car. Most of all, let us drink to patios. Big patios with gas heaters and Labbatt Blue umbrellas. Little patios with plastic tables that flex under the weight of frothy pitchers of beer. Patios that aren't really patios at all, but are actually parking lots with small fences around them. Patios crawling with smokers who finally have a place to sit when they leave the bar for a smoke. Patios on rooftops. Patios hidden in alleyways. Patios full of optimistic people who can finally wear the skimpy clothes they bought on sale over the winter that are not quite warm enough for April but who, as true Canadians wear them and their goosebumps proudly. Patios like the one at Fion MacCool's on the Esplanade this Friday.

A memorial service.....with beer

Tomorrow (April Fool's Day) there is going to be a 'wake' for CEHIP - really just a bunch of epis getting together to drink - how is that not fun??. Its at the Bier Markt so that's my suggestions for this weeks gathering.

I am the Easter Bunny

I never intentionally set out to become the Easter Bunny, but here I am. I guess it all started 13 months ago when Paige was born. See I did purposefully (and most robustly I might add) set out to become a mom, but much like acquiring a cell phone, you must then sign up for a package to manage said new acquisition.

With so many plans to choose from, we ultimately went with the VIP Holiday Bundle. It does cost a little more, but it allows me to concurrently coexist not only as Mom, but also The Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus and the less observed, but fun non-the-less Nancy New Year. I am also licensed to go over-board in any of, but not limited to the following events: Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day and Halloween. Certainly there was a basic package, the Jehovah’s Witness Economy Pack, but it was quite restrictive and required more weekend commitments. Admittedly the Vodka Martini Roam Plan promised more free time for myself, but had foreseeable long-term complications.

She’s not even going to get it for a couple of years. There will be a couple of good years where she just sparkles at the thought of all that stuff, but she’ll never thank me for it. And then eventually she’ll figure it all out and harbour a small resentment for being the reason that she died a little inside that day.

So here it is my lunch hour and I’m heading out to buy chocolate eggs that she’s too young to eat and toys that she’ll ignore by 10 a.m. on Sunday, but that’s what being a parent is all about isn’t it? And if I have to eat every last one of those chocolate eyes by myself, then by God I’m just going to have to do it.

Not so much a PAWA, but an event never the less

On Saturday, there will be merriment.
At around 6ish we (we being me and anyone who joins me) will be going to Tortilla flats for a little mexicana then heading across the street to see Danny Michel at the Rivoli. If you're interested, be sure to bring enough money to buy Jeff a birthday drink.

That's it. All very simple.